Why “just stop thinking about it” never actually works (and what to do instead)

😤 Frustrated – If I could stop, don’t you think I would have by now?

😔 Or a bit ashamed – Why can’t I do what seems so easy for everyone else?

If that’s you, you’re not alone. So many of the people I work with feel stuck in these endless spirals of overthinking, and advice like this just makes it worse.

So the million dollar question – why does it feels so hard to just stop thinking about something, even when you really want to??

1. Your brain thinks the overthinking is helpful

This is a big one. When something’s bothering you, your brain thinks it’s doing you a favour by going over it again and again. It’s trying to protect you. Trying to find the answer. Trying to make sure you never feel this way again.

So even if you’re completely exhausted by the whole thing, your brain’s like, “Hang on, let’s just go over that one more time. Just in case.”

It’s not being mean. It genuinely thinks it’s helping you.

2. You’re trying to get rid of a feeling

Maybe you feel guilty. Or unsure. Or you’re terrified you missed something important.

And your brain jumps in with, “OK, let’s solve this. Let’s go over every detail until we feel better.”

But here’s the problem. Going over it doesn’t usually bring relief, it just keeps you stuck in the same loop, trying to escape a feeling that doesn’t want to be pushed away like that.

3. It’s become a habit

Sometimes people say, “It’s like my brain just starts thinking about it without me even realising.” And honestly? That’s exactly what happens.

If you’ve been overthinking for years, it becomes a mental reflex. The second you feel uncertain or uncomfortable, your brain starts doing the thing it’s always done.

It’s not your fault. It’s just a pattern that’s had a lot of practice (and is completely possible to unlearn)

4. Letting go feels irresponsible



This one comes up all the time. You might think, “If I stop thinking about it, I’ll forget something important. Or I won’t learn my lesson. Or I’ll be letting myself off the hook.”

It might feel like you should keep thinking about it, because that proves you care.

But letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you’re not going to keep dragging yourself through the same mental torture over and over again.

So no “just stop thinking about it” isn’t helpful advice. It skips right over all the reasons your brain feels like it has to keep going.

The real work is learning how to respond differently when that thought loop kicks off. It’s about showing your brain a new way of handling all that worry and uncertainty.

And yes, that’s possible, even if your mind’s been doing this for as long as you can remember.

This is the exact kind of thing I help people with every day.

I’m an online and Bristol based CBT therapist specialising in treating obsessive overthinking, OCD and anxiety – if any of this resonated and you’re ready to try something different, I’d love to help.

Jess X